i used to be schizophrenic, but we're ok now

caught the Lord of the Rings: Return of the King this evening. lord, what a name.

anyways, i've got a list of my top five movies and music albums coming up, probably in the next couple of entries.

which brings me to lotr. it would have been the my top movie of 2003, edging Finding Nemo off numero uno. but, but the ending simply spoilt it.

like A.I., it went on far longer than it should have. i mean, we don't really need to know that the hobbits returned home safely, that somehow frodo's been summoned away, that sam's gotten married and had two wonderful kids, do we? do we really?

no we don't. because the average movie-goer would have had enough experience with movies and hollywood to know that everything would end happily ever after for the teeny hobbits and gandalf and aragorn and legolas and gimli and me.

the whole movie would have been great at about two and a half hours, but i guess peter jackson could not resist including muchly unwanted scenes because return of the (bloody) king's the third movie see, it's the end of the trilogy, so very obviously it has to match up to fellowship and two towers in terms of battle scenes, legolas facetime, as well as length. so that was how the return of the king took three hours.

i'm not done here. return of the king was great, as expected.
it also served to prove a fact:

that hobbits are gay.

yes. merry's with pippin and sam's with mr. frodo. couldn't have been more obvious, could it?
merry and pippin spent so much time in that ole tree in two towers i swear they've definitely gotten some hanky panky in the midst of all that travelling. otherwise they'd have been bored to tears.

and sam and frodo, well no need for any explanation there. and oh that orgy at the near end where merry, pippin and frodo were on the same bed and aragorn, legolas, gandalf and sam looking on was just... i mean, how can peter jackson do this? on national cinema??!!?? he should have better sense than that!

but then sam gets married, oh no!
after which frodo sinks into terrible depression and so gandalf, who'd harboured immense feelings for frodo, whisks him away from the shire to the land of comfort and magic healing along with bilbo and this elf.

and that's the true story of the Lord of the Rings. a great watch, i strongly encourage you guys to watch it.

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