So on Christmas eve, the idea came to me was how nice it would be to visit Fremantle Market on Friday and perhaps get some neat souveniry things. Not like I wasn't going to return to Perth in five weeks but shopping is always fun you know.

Anyhow the weekend market was a little disappointing, and embarrassing. Disappointing because it was no different from Subiaco Market, where I had been at least a dozen times; and embarrassing because this stupid shopkeeper thought I was the kids' mum.

OK, let's bring you up to speed. I went to Freo Market with the mum and of course her kids came along. I have to say they were pretty well behaved lately. Or perhaps you could say I was pms-ing last week.

So I was buying fruits when this shopkeeper, whom I assume is from China - judging by his accent and look - asked me "Is she your daughter?" The kid looked kinda dazed and I gave a very vehement no, and as if that wasn't enough to make him shut up, he went on to ask "Your sister?"

If he could just stand back and look at my entire group, commonsense would tell you who the mum is, who the kids are, and who is the mum's friend. Just open your eyes to look, you stupid fruit seller!

I know I'm overreacting just a bit. But if you can't already tell, kids just aren't my cup of tea. Sure they're fun to play with but actually looking after them? You might as well ask me to try snorting milk up my nose.

No sleigh here

Merry Christmas! Strangely quiet in the neighbourhood. God knows why. I suppose when evening rolls around we'll be hearing strains Colin Buchanan's spin of the old favourite:

Dashing through the bush
in a rusty Holden Ute*
Kicking up the dust
Esky in the boot

Singing Christmas songs
It's summer time and I am in
my singlet, shorts and thongs!

Oh! Jingle Bells! Jingle Bells! Christmas time is beaut!
Oh what fun it is to ride in a rusty Holden Ute!

Anyhow, Christmas means this year is undeniably coming to an end, which also means I get to go home in about six days. I can't wait, I think. Will be spending the better part of my 31st on a plane over the Indian Ocean, should be fun!

*Holden to Australia is like Proton to Malaysia, minus the embarrassment. :P



Apparently the driver of this red-hot Ferrari was trying to impress bystanders by revving his engine and waving at everyone, and I must say, he really succeeded. Especially when he miscalculated and plowed straight into the traffic light pole. Oops! Haha.

This is turning into a really great Christmas for him. ;P

While we're on the same topic, have you ever gotten pulled over? I haven't, but then again I'm a relatively new driver. You wouldn't believe the excuses people can come up with when they're caught by the traffic police, but people get desperate, y'know.

A lady was pulled over after failing to move off at a green light, and turned out she was holding a cup of coffee, talking on the phone, and smoking a cigarette while she had been driving. Her response? "Unlike men, women can do three things at once."

Another woman driver tried to plead her way out of failing to wear her seatbelt with a "It's that time of the month and my breasts are sore."

Seems like female drivers come up with the best excuses. Anyhow, top 10 worst speeding excuses:

1. My truck is haunted
2. My best mate is at home having sex with my wife
3. I got diarrhoea
4. My dog is at the vet and he might die
5. My partner is having a nervous breakdown
6. I've got a cake in the oven
7. My cat is stuck in the door at home
8. I'm hurrying because I'm running out of petrol
9. I determine what is safe and drive at the speed I want
10. I was stupid. I'm lost

Happy holidays! Remember, don't drink and drive!

Italia! Italia!

A group of us decided upon Ciao Italia for dinner tonight. The cafe is like one of Perth's worst kept secrets, but I liked it nonetheless. It kinda makes you feel like you're in Amelie, with heaps of wine and sparkling conversation.

Of course the reality hits you like a hard slap in the face when the kids who were part of our company decided it was a good idea to play Uno and include yours truly in that stupid game.

I swear those kids have no conscience. Good lord, can't you see I am eating here? Do not ask me to play games of any sort when I am eating!

But kids being kids, if not acquiesced to, tears will erupt so I had no choice but to entertain their request. After which the seven-year-old decides she wants to play Go Fish but you know what? I've had enough! I'm sorry I just don't have patience for things like this. No Go Fish for me, I don't care if you cry, you're not my kid anyway. Go Fish my arse, you baboon. Christ. It's bad enough I have to tote your playing cards for you in my bag, I have to play with you too?!?

Otherwise known as "Your Average Christmas Movie"

Jude Law & Cameron Diaz in The Holiday

Every Christmas we get a movie that is chock full of all the warmth and love that kind of defines the holiday spirit. Remember Love Actually? About a Boy? Movies that make you leave the cinema smiling, unless you happen to have testicles. You cannot possibly be male and like this year's feel-good holiday movie, unimaginatively titled The Holiday.

Essentially two stories about the two leading ladies who do a home exchange after having their heart broken by the men in their lives. Tsk. One's an awfully predictable tale about falling in love when you didn't think you could possibly handle another relationship, and the other about falling in love in the most unexpected places.

Of course I liked The Holiday. I'm a girl. But really, The Holiday is really just one of the numerous bland chick flicks that girls like to watch, preferably with their BFFs (Best Female Friends).

So leave your brains at the door and enjoy The Holiday in the spirit of the season. In the meantime, I will go back to hitting myself on the head for having chose this Christmas offering over the latest Bond film.

Lemonade scones for dummies

So I managed to burn a bit of these easy-peasy lemonade scones. But they were soft and yummy nonetheless, if you eat them with golden syrup or Nutella, or whatever takes your fancy.

I took the recipe from Exclusively Food. Only three ingredients: 450g self-raising flour, 250ml thickened cream, 250ml lemonade (like Schweppes or something).

Combine all the ingredients, make little ovals about 2.5cm thick and 5cm wide, and bake at 225°C for about 12-15 minutes.

Since a previous post about cheating on train fares, it seems like Perth's transit guards read my post and have decided to come out in fuller-than-full force to well, to be embarrassingly honest, to catch people like me.

I'll have you know that I am scared shitless indeed and now I pay for all my train rides. There is nothing more humiliating than being caught by a transit guard for not having paid your fare. More humiliating than falling in public.

Anyhow, this daylight savings thing really is getting to me. I'm posting this at 8pm but take a look out the window and it's like this:


It really disrupts your body clock. Having gotten used to eating dinner when it's dark, I now go "What should I have for dinner?" only to realise, dammit, it's already 8! There is no time to cook because the OC starts in half an hour!

Oh. Oh, you know I don't really watch the OC... it's just kinda like an example, you know? ;-P

Happy holidays

Damage by Audrey Heller

Apparently, through the 12 days of Christmas, my Aussie true love gave me a kookaburra in a gum tree, two snakes on skis, three wet galahs, four lyrebirds, five kangaroos, six sharks-a-surfing, seven emus laying, eight dingos dancing, nine crocs-a-snoozing, 10 wombats washing, 11 lizards leaping, and 12 possums playing.

Never mind that I don't know what galahs are and what the hell I do with all those animals.

I accompanied a neighbour and her two little girls to their primary school this evening for a little Christmas presentation. Families really do get into the holiday spirit here. We had little shepherds and angels singing We Wish You A Merry Christmas and Deck The Halls and they really are cute. :-) But no, it doesn't bring out my maternal instinct. Sorry guys.

Happy holidays, nonetheless.

Bree speaks

Summer holidays have made it necessary for me to iron every single scrap of clothing because if not, the days - they would just seem so much longer.

My mum only irons our slacks and blouses, t-shirts were deemed items-one-does-not-waste-ironing-time-over and I only just discovered today, a mere 10 minutes ago in fact, t-shirts do look so much better ironed!

There is only so much housework to be done, isn't there? How does one pass time during free time? Take marathon naps? Wash clean dishes? Reread books? Surf blogs that are never updated? Or, heaven forbid, eat?

Thursday and Friday nights were spent in the company of Robbie Williams, whose concert at Subiaco Oval could be heard too clearly from my apartment. "So let meeeeeeee... entertain you!"

Unfortunately, I personally experienced the sheer volume of people who attended when I drove home on Friday night via the road leading directly to the stadium. Took me an awful half hour just to get through what would have normally taken only two minutes. Can anyone say "Excuse me! I'm road raging here!?"