someone just told me, "omg diaryland is so cutesy, and you use it?"

in retrospect, i reckon it was a compliment of some sort but dubious loyalty for diaryland drove to me retort, "sure it's cutesy. but it also offers 100percent webpage customization. i don't see blogger doing that."

ppfffttt. what a stupid cow.

okay.

sometimes i resent mum for being so dear. in my opinion, mum hardly spares headspace over my well-being unless she's entrenched in guilt.

guilt is a mighty player in the game of life, i think. it drives people, including me, to extreme circumstances because if not, guilt gnaws at their inner-being, eating away their insides until they think they couldn't possibly live another minute without doing something to lighten up the self-condemnation.

hmmm. well. guilt is god. no?

so... oh hey, sunday's 2-for-1 movies never looked better. haha. we caught stepford psychos and catwhore over sunday. quite weak movies, imo, but stepford psychos was enjoyable. do not watch catwhore though, because the guys can go get hard-ons somewhere else - whip not included - and gals can live without the envy.

and another thing,

i decided to pencil in dates in my organiser for next semester (the super lax one with only two modules and gah, internship) - birthdays, public holidays and other important dates. its never looked more melancholic. us 7ners are turning the big two-oh in 2005, if nothing goes wrong, and it's just this weird thing to feel.
like, my, we're gonna be twenty. our ages for the next decade are going to be preceded by this nasty little two and and while i'm not dreading being twenty and up (quite the opposite), i wish i could still retain 19 candles on my cake while having people wish me "happy 20th!", "happy 21st!", "happy 22nd!" or even, god forbid, "happy 29th!".

gosh i sound like i'm turning forty. but i gather turning forty would earn a much more bereaved entry than this. i mean, of course turning 20 is better than being 40. the former is where one's life truly begins and the latter is where life, well, pretty much hits a brick wall and stops there (six more years to go for you, ping!).

singapore has a lot a lot of people over 40, come to think of it. if that is when life stands still, then wouldn't we, literally, have a lot of dead people walking around? cue haley joel osment's "i see dead people." hmmm, food for thought.

i hope you appreciate me talking exceptionally much in this entry. i usually forget half of what an entry's supposed to accomodate. it's so dreadful to be forgetful. i can remember (yay!) that i want to retrieve documents from my gmail, then when i do log on i will happily organise my inbox, log out, switch off the computer, watch some television, get ready for bed, wake up the next day, then remember what i was supposed to check my email for. d'oh!

see it's different from normal absent-minded-itis. because people usually have this gut feeling that they've forgotten something, and not remembering what. in my case, i cannot even remember that i've forgotten to do things! is oblivion bliss or what?