... i will not have babies.
if i do find my soulmate and get married, that is.
i have been visiting relative after relative during this lunar new year and it has only taught me one thing:
not to have kids and one'd live happy.
you who's reading this may vehemently disagree but first, let me explain myself.
okay. so the scenario goes:
let's say i have not been feeling on top of the world for the past couple of days or so. i get nauceous when i smell fish from the wet market, every morning i feel like projectile vomitting my previous day's meals.
then perhaps during lunch hour i, on a whim, grabbed a box of home pregnancy test kit off the pharmacy's shelf.
when i get home i do the test immediately: peeing on the stick and then waiting 30 minutes to see if the blue line appears.
and it does! i'm pregnant!
so everyone's happy happy joy joy. we go out to celebrate (no fish of course) and over the next nine months i get cravings for char kuey teow from 88 stall, fishball noodles from newton circus, nghor hiang from maxwell market, pringles' sour cream and onion from the indian mamashop at bouna vista, casablanca, the godfather trilogy and titanic from video ezy, back scratches or massages at 3 am...
on top of those, there's swollen ankles, feeling bloated, having trouble getting from a lying down position to a sitting up position, stomach cramps...
with all these, how can people still say pregnant ladies practically glow??!? perhaps they were just being nice.
then after nine months i have to again endure 12 hours waiting for my vagina to dilate then push my bloody soul out into this ugly world.
post giving birth i have to take care cuz there might be post natal and a 2 month recovery period, the baby crying at 2 in the morning, feeding it 8 times a day, sore nipples, a belly that might never shrink, out of all these the only good thing that might come out of it is a beautiful baby's bottom.
you want more reasons? yes.
first you'd have to bring the baby up in a kiasu modern singaporean society, fighting for places in the nursery, kindergarten, primary school, spots to play hopscotch... oh wait, they don't have hopscotch and five stones anymore, it's the n-gage and 3G phones' era now.
then you lose about 3 quarts of your family income to pocket money, school fees, textbooks, toys and clothes all of which they're probably gonna outgrow in 2 months' time.
what good do i get out of a damn baby? gosh my parents probably went through hell trying to bring me up.
you know they should probably come up with virtual babies like those tamagotchi eggs. so humanity can experience the trials and tribulation of bringing up a kid but at the same time, being able to escape "reality" whenever they feel like.
yes, sign me up! -raises hand-
if i do find my soulmate and get married, that is.
i have been visiting relative after relative during this lunar new year and it has only taught me one thing:
not to have kids and one'd live happy.
you who's reading this may vehemently disagree but first, let me explain myself.
okay. so the scenario goes:
let's say i have not been feeling on top of the world for the past couple of days or so. i get nauceous when i smell fish from the wet market, every morning i feel like projectile vomitting my previous day's meals.
then perhaps during lunch hour i, on a whim, grabbed a box of home pregnancy test kit off the pharmacy's shelf.
when i get home i do the test immediately: peeing on the stick and then waiting 30 minutes to see if the blue line appears.
and it does! i'm pregnant!
so everyone's happy happy joy joy. we go out to celebrate (no fish of course) and over the next nine months i get cravings for char kuey teow from 88 stall, fishball noodles from newton circus, nghor hiang from maxwell market, pringles' sour cream and onion from the indian mamashop at bouna vista, casablanca, the godfather trilogy and titanic from video ezy, back scratches or massages at 3 am...
on top of those, there's swollen ankles, feeling bloated, having trouble getting from a lying down position to a sitting up position, stomach cramps...
with all these, how can people still say pregnant ladies practically glow??!? perhaps they were just being nice.
then after nine months i have to again endure 12 hours waiting for my vagina to dilate then push my bloody soul out into this ugly world.
post giving birth i have to take care cuz there might be post natal and a 2 month recovery period, the baby crying at 2 in the morning, feeding it 8 times a day, sore nipples, a belly that might never shrink, out of all these the only good thing that might come out of it is a beautiful baby's bottom.
you want more reasons? yes.
first you'd have to bring the baby up in a kiasu modern singaporean society, fighting for places in the nursery, kindergarten, primary school, spots to play hopscotch... oh wait, they don't have hopscotch and five stones anymore, it's the n-gage and 3G phones' era now.
then you lose about 3 quarts of your family income to pocket money, school fees, textbooks, toys and clothes all of which they're probably gonna outgrow in 2 months' time.
what good do i get out of a damn baby? gosh my parents probably went through hell trying to bring me up.
you know they should probably come up with virtual babies like those tamagotchi eggs. so humanity can experience the trials and tribulation of bringing up a kid but at the same time, being able to escape "reality" whenever they feel like.
yes, sign me up! -raises hand-
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