we all know God's created many many miracles. one of 'em being toilets that self-flush.
(my mother told me another of them miracles would be the birth of her second daughter, ahemmeahem, but i've refused to believe her on the grounds of me having a vague memory of being stuck in some stork's beak.)
c'mon you have to agree with me on this one. how in the world can humankind invent something that cleans up after itself? we're not in that habit, neither are we that sophisticated. science and technology are advanced, yes, but we'd never come up with something as basic and commonsensical as a self-flushing loo. trust me.
now where was i.
but this particular miracle also gives testimony to the fact that He is not perfect. how so?
see, the problem with these toilets are that they never flush at the right time. a basic scenario: enter cubicle, drop pants/skirt/whatever, sit, then FLLLUUSSSSHHH... before you start your business! it - the loo - somehow thinks the modus operandi of human excretion is -- flush and shit. flush and shit. flush and shit. or flush and pee, if you really want to be specific.
well it's not flush and shit/pee we're worrying about. it's the aftermath. when you're done with your business the toilet simply refuses to react. ever. so you stare at your excretions for a bit, sit back down on the bowl and get up again, hoping to spur some activity, but it's hopeless. it's a flushed deal.
you're desperate now, the damn contraption won't flush! help comes in a little teeny weeny button and you press it, hard. out comes a trickle of water and you think, hallelujah!
not so fast, buster. two seconds into your victory dance you realize that trickle is all you're gonna coax out of that 'miracle'. oh no! what now brown cow?
now it seems like you can't do anything anyways, so you take your things and exit, you've been in the cubicle long enough, your ejecteds will never flush.
or so you think.
between the spilt second you're out of the cubicle and the next user comes in, you hear the most gratifying rush of water you'll ever hear in your entire life. nothing sounds better. aaahhhhh. almost like sex with hugh jackman.
life is good.
(my mother told me another of them miracles would be the birth of her second daughter, ahemmeahem, but i've refused to believe her on the grounds of me having a vague memory of being stuck in some stork's beak.)
c'mon you have to agree with me on this one. how in the world can humankind invent something that cleans up after itself? we're not in that habit, neither are we that sophisticated. science and technology are advanced, yes, but we'd never come up with something as basic and commonsensical as a self-flushing loo. trust me.
now where was i.
but this particular miracle also gives testimony to the fact that He is not perfect. how so?
see, the problem with these toilets are that they never flush at the right time. a basic scenario: enter cubicle, drop pants/skirt/whatever, sit, then FLLLUUSSSSHHH... before you start your business! it - the loo - somehow thinks the modus operandi of human excretion is -- flush and shit. flush and shit. flush and shit. or flush and pee, if you really want to be specific.
well it's not flush and shit/pee we're worrying about. it's the aftermath. when you're done with your business the toilet simply refuses to react. ever. so you stare at your excretions for a bit, sit back down on the bowl and get up again, hoping to spur some activity, but it's hopeless. it's a flushed deal.
you're desperate now, the damn contraption won't flush! help comes in a little teeny weeny button and you press it, hard. out comes a trickle of water and you think, hallelujah!
not so fast, buster. two seconds into your victory dance you realize that trickle is all you're gonna coax out of that 'miracle'. oh no! what now brown cow?
now it seems like you can't do anything anyways, so you take your things and exit, you've been in the cubicle long enough, your ejecteds will never flush.
or so you think.
between the spilt second you're out of the cubicle and the next user comes in, you hear the most gratifying rush of water you'll ever hear in your entire life. nothing sounds better. aaahhhhh. almost like sex with hugh jackman.
life is good.
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